What am I doing here?

I don't know what I'm doing here actually. Writing. I need to write. Sort out what it is I think about things, what I want to do. I'll start by explaining the title. A long time ago, I'm not good with linear time stuff, I was working at a restaurant in Toluca Lake called Papoo's Hot Dog Show. It's a story in itself. Lupe was cleaning off the sidewalk by hosing it down. It was a typical southern California evening, not too hot, not cold. When Lupe finished I commented to Jerry, an amazing counterguy aka good friend, that there was something undefinable about the smell. At the time I was toying with going into the biz, show business. Most likely production, editing was the end desire. Anyway, I told Jerry that if I ever got a production company I would call it Wet Pavement. Because it was something tangible that people could recognize but wouldn't be able to define. That intangible tangible. Anyway, I've always liked it so...
It's perfect actually. Because this blog is an intangible tangible entity. I know what I need to do. I know how to write. I love to do it. But I freeze up when it comes to this. Firstly, it's the Internet. Anything you write is now fodder for the world. I'm not completely arrogant, I don't think I will become the next sensation or anything, but I'm a teacher, I have a reputation and
a level of professionalism I need to maintain. Easy enough, I'm pretty straightforward. But I have a hard time reconciling that kind of public blog with the diary/journal writing I have done before. So many old journals in notebooks, hard cover journals, pads etc. They all start with I'm going to quit eating fatty food, exercise every day, quit smoking and write every day. In the next few entries I slowly start to get back into old habits, which of course results in no more entries!!!! That was then, this is now... What a great book that was. Anyway, enough about me. Oh wait. This is all about me. Okay, I can't focus because I'm trying to watch a Lifetime movie. Yes, I watch them all the time. I love them. It's a guilty pleasure. Stay tuned...